Three poems

How I Auditioned for Motherhood

  1. Stephanie was dating a much older disher.
  2. He had several children.
  3. His children had a few different mothers.
  4. The mothers each thought they were his wife or girlfriend.
  5. The newest baby was two months old.
  6. The disher brought the baby with him when he came to pick Stephanie up from the Souplantation parking lot after work one night.
  7. I agreed to watch the baby for an hour or two.
  8. The baby and I were in my car.
  9. He was crying, pulling at my shirt, and suckling at the outside.
  10. Even though I clearly had no milk to give, I couldn’t say no.

How to Know You Have Arrived at the San Bernardino Souplantation

Stand facing east.
There is a seedy dive bar on the corner to your right.

Turn 90 degrees to your right.
There is a tattoo parlor.

Again, turn 90 degrees to your right.
There is always a 15-passenger white van with a graphic photograph of an aborted baby’s head in the clasp of a pair of forceps, ever blocking the entrance
to the abortion clinic.

Again, turn 90 degrees to your right.
You’ll see a line of very large people, ever blocking the entrance
to the Souplantation.

Liberal Me

During elementary, middle, and high school, I had been called many things:
Dog, Slut, Thesaurus, Fascist, Heir Dictator,
Too Conservative, and Miss Stick in the Mud.

At Cal Baptist University, I was known mainly as a Tree-Hugging Liberal.
Because I:
Dated men off campus.
Lived off campus.
And worked off campus at the Souplantation.

Crystal Lane Swift “CLS” Ferguson, PhD, speaks, signs, acts, publishes, sings, performs, writes, paints, teaches, and rarely relaxes. She and her husband, Rich Ferguson, are raising their Bernese Mountain Border Collie mutt, Sadie, in Hollywood, CA.

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